Day 20-24, November 12-17, shots, shots, and more shots

Today is Monday. Not a lot to update on since the last post. I started on Friday (gah this whole blog is TMI, now), and I received my first bleeding from a shot (gross, sorry again...). So, that means I got my first bruise. I did that back to back (Friday and Saturday), so Sunday I used ice. Miracle! Ice is nice. I now ice before and after the shot and no bleeding or bruising since.

Wednesday I go to the doctor for baseline. Basically, they see what my starting point is: how many follicles, their sizes, etc. Then, I start stims, "stimulation," and get to give my self three shots a day, two at night, one in the morning. I hope and pray my morning shots go well. I am the worst morning person, and the morning shot requires mixing a solution with powder, changing needles, and THEN giving the shot...lots of steps for the morning, ha.

Matt informed me today that I only have 3 more syringes left for Lupron, yet 8-10 days of injections...well, that's an issue. I will call the nurse tomorrow. I've also spilled a little on accident when pulling the needle out of the rubber top so I'll make sure I'm not going to run out. It was such an ordeal to get those meds I hope and pray and hope and pray I don't have to deal with a quick turn around on needing more meds again.

I'll put some pictures in below. Really not a lot to update on, just nightly shots. Makes me get home by 7pm; no errands really. Funny how you don't realize what a difference that makes in your thinking.  Gotta run to the grocery store? Nope, need to rush home for a shot. What if I get pulled over at 6:45 on my way home? What if I slide off the road in the ice? Can Matt bring me my shot?

I had my first 'roadie-shot' this Friday. Traveled to Greenwood for Natalie's baby shower weekend, and had to do the injection from the hotel. This was my first bruise and blood, so I think my shots like me being home. I'll have another roadie shot this Friday. Matt and I have reservations as Restaurant Iris, WHAT WHAT SO EXCITED!, so I have to shoot up before dinner. Can't wait to try that restaurant. We made reservations before we even knew we'd be doing IVF right now.

Here are some pictures over the last 5 days:

Wednesday, Nov 12

Thursday, November 13 (Matt got a deer this night so he is outside of my parents house cleaning it; i'm in my mom's dressing room, super pumped!)

Friday, November 14 - taking my shot on the road (all smiles, now...)

Don't look if shots make you sick...I ended up eating that Reese's as a reward

Again, don't look if squeamish (sorry for the posts, but i'm documenting here!)

Saturday, November 15, just a set up picture:

Sunday,  November 16, learned my lesson; using the ice (peas)

Monday, November 17 - home just in time for my shot appointment! 

Day 19, November 11 - sleepy

Today was a good day. It went from 65 degrees to the 30's in a matter of hours. Of course, I forgot my coat today:)
My throat started getting sore (boo) and my head has been hurting all day...AND my joints are achy and stiff.  Wah Wah Wah, that's part of the lupron I think.

Great story today.
Showed up kinda early for a non Monday today, and ran into a guy who I had run into over a year ago at the infertility clinic waiting room...we knew each other, and have worked together for years, but it was awkward of course. Since then, I told Matt about him, and i've prayed for he and his wife. When we decided to start IVF, I even mentioned to Matt, hey should I go talk to him just to check in and let him know I think of them often? well, time went by and I hadn't yet.

Today, I was getting off the elevator with A (that is what I'll call him), and he stopped me and said, 'hey, I just wanted to let you know my last day is today." Well, that was enough to stop me in my tracks. I was very shocked. He'd been at AZ for 13 years, and just now finding out about it was sad. He small talked some about his next job, and it is closer to him (6 minutes), better for having a family. I keyed up and looked at him. He said, 'remember that place we ran in to each other in a year or so ago?' i say, 'of course, I think of that often, and wonder how y'all are doing.' He said ' well it worked; we are 11 weeks pregnant.'

I was so happy. We both teared up. It was so amazing. His wife had gone through one failed IVF since I saw them last, so this was such great news for them. I shared with him that I just recently started the process as well, and should hopefully know some good news by December. He was kind and told me to hang in there. We talked about how it's nice to know others who go through it because it's this whole other world. He said it has brought he and his wife closer and more spiritual; that before he knew babies were miracles, but this has brought a completely new understanding and respect for just what miracles they are. It felt so good to instantly relate, be comforted by, happy for, and just peacefully appreciate each others' journeys without going into detail of either persons experience. There was some talk; he asked if I'd started the shots, I said yes, He said his wife counted and had over 70 shots that she gave herself in total. I'm at shot 4; woop! But that was both of their experiences together....i hope.

Anyway, this was such a blessing, and completely maneuvered by God. We both needed to close that gap with each other, and with him leaving, he had to bring it up, and how perfect that I am just getting started. It was the happiness I could give him from understanding (plus he hasn't told many due to the last one not working), and it was the support he could give me from understanding. What a perfect start for the morning.

As we said our farewells at a surprise party for him later that afternoon, I gave him a hug goodbye, wished him the best, and wasn't just talking about his career. I am picturing the TWINS he and his wife will be having in about 6 months I hope!

What a great part of the day. It's nice to have these moments, just like that moment I saw him in the office, to stick with you and hold close in your heart, knowing it could be used at a later date. It was God's comfort and support.

So, yay for shot #4! Big update for the day: I changed to my right side belly fat. yay! It didn't hurt, thankfully. I Feel very blessed. It does feel bruised and it's no fun, but i know it could be so much worse.

Sometimes you have to "Just Dill With It"....Matt got this from a souvenir shop for me because he thought it was funny. Of course I thought it was too.

Drawing up the good stuff.

Night!

Amanda

Day 18, Nov. 10, shot gets easier - WARNING - if shots make you queasy, don't look at the pics!

Today was a good day. And that's awesome for a MONDAY!

 I felt the hormonal surge this morning, though. My SVP mentioned that I would have to give a presentation I'd been working on to my CEO...rather than think, "yes, this will be a great opportunity for me," I had a mental meltdown and had to fight tears from running down my face...seriously?! I mean, true, the thought of presenting to my CEO gives a rush of fear/excitement, but nothing to cry over. That's when I realized I may have meltdowns at work during this process, and that's okay. I may not have the ability delay the cry or suck it up and run off to the bathroom and cry as I've done in the past when that release was necessary, but I'm sure I'll live:) I mean, this is just the beginning, and the hormonal surges are going to be normal and going to happen. Yay for that! Hopefully, it'll lead to pregnancy and I can continue to have hormonal outbursts. I'd be honored.

Tonights shot was much better. I think I've found that the fattier part of the stomach is best. I have a general area I can choose from (belly button level down two inches all the way to my right or left hip bone), but the fatty part nearer the belly button seems to be painless. So hopefully, I can keep them spread, but closer to the true belly fat. Okay, let's be honest, I have belly fat all 'round, it's called a muffin top, but I think maybe near the belly button is the best flabby fat.

I did my routine; took my shot, then took a shower. The heat is relaxing. This process seems to work. Maybe I'm a bit dramatic, but I look forward to the shower like it's a spa treatment.

Sorry for all the pictures. I'm not sure how long we'll keep them up; maybe every day! Or, maybe we forget to take them soon, but I'm glad to have some documentation, and this blog is a big part of my documentation--although in draft mode. I struggle with draft mode. On one hand, I'm not ready for the outside coming in, but on the other, the blogs i read about this mean so much and provide so much support to me, and my family and friend base is what I need during this (and you are my friends!), but I am still in some sort of protective bubble by keeping it in draft mode.

So, I liked the bottom picture because it's a bit less "graphic" yet you get the gist; plus the old worn out T-shirt "Too Blessed to Be Stressed" given to me by my dad is oh so appropriate. And I like how "Blessed" is in focus. We are truly blessed to even have the opportunity to embark on this process. Praise God.
Night! Amanda

Sheer concentration:) ...not sure how nurses do it!

Day 17, November 9 - 2nd Shot Night

Today was good. I rested. Went to church, then had an after church meeting that lasted about 2 hours (we just got a preacher, yay!). Then I came home and ate Matt's leftovers from Pasta Italia. I did laundry, tried to clean, changed into workout clothes thinking that'd spur a workout, then my mom came over and we hung out for a little while.  When Matt went hunting again, I decided to go for a run. I ran 2.5, then walked about another mile. It was COLD. I walked in the dark until Matt was coming back from hunting so I could jump in with him.

Once we were back to the house, I took my lupron out of the fridge, and let it set for a bit....knew it was coming, but determined to face it more bravely. I decided to let Matt video this time. I would post it but it's too large. I look extremely serious, anxious, and happy when it's over. Those are pretty much my feelings. We laughed and said after shot 8 or 9 I'll be able to appear much more calm and at ease with it. Just not today.

It wasn't as bad tonight. I took a shower afterwards because I read that can be relaxing (and I'm open to any and all ways to relax through this). Overall, it did the same; swelled up, turned red, itched, looked like a bee sting then went down in a couple of hours.
Since it wouldn't let me upload the video here are some prep pics. Shot TWO!

Here's to getting better at shots!!

Day 16, November 8 - Winery and Birthday Dinner at my Parents - Night of First Lupron Shot

I decided to stop or greatly limit any and all drinking. Just makes me feel more 'in control' and healthy.

In perfect timing, I'm going to a wine tour and tasting. YAY! luckily I have Amanda Moore in on the deal, and I just poured my glasses into hers. And, having Carrie (and in the know so not expecting me to drink) pregnant made it less of an 'everybody is drinking a lot' thing. It was just totally laid back, and SO much fun. We had a blast and learned a lot about wines and how they were made, Then we went to Coyote Blue and it was so yummy. I had a bloody mary there (weak). Then, went home and was tired just thinking about this being my first shot night. ANXIOUS. I took an hour nap.

So, I go through all the tutorials again, get all my supplies out, and make sure I have everything we need. We're giving the shot at my parents house because i take it at 7pm. So, we get over there, I start drinking water; not sure why I thought that would help. Then as it gets closer to 7, i'm nervous; Matt and I go back to my parents room, and set it all out. i do what I'm supposed to do, clean, get dosage, thump needle, get dosage, pull out, swab my fatness, take a big chuck of the fatness, then boom goes the dynamite. Slides in, I push the medicine in, slowly take it out; Matt discards everything. He also held my shirt up and kissed the top of my head, so he did have important duties.

Weird, because I got real faint. I think I had a panic attack. I wasn't right for the next hour. I went into my parents kitchen, opened my gift and card (in another world), then sat down to eat. I couldn't take a bite. THAT'S WEIRD. I can always eat. I was convinced something was wrong. There was redness on my shot site and it burned. I started thinking I was having an allergic reaction. It had me in a panic for a good while. Couldn't think straight or function. Just wanted to disappear, but it was my birthday night, so i tried to be 'normal.' After about 15 minutes, away from everyone, I gathered my thoughts. noticed the pink was going down, and assessed that I didn't truly feel that bad. A little weak and weird, but I was going to be okay.

The rest of the night was fine. I had a virgin bloody Mary. We watched football and played with the kids.

Whew! Well, we made it through the FIRST SHOT NIGHT!!!! Go us!


Here is the Winery list

Fun group of girls!

Outside of the winery

Standing in the Vineyards

And, so it begins. Anxiety drill part too many to label, but it was a good one. There I am posing with my Luprelide 2 wk kit in my parents room

Shortly after I should have been pumped to be having these (even sans vodka, i mean c'mon, behold the beauty!)

But I was too obsessed with this mark

I'm sure my nursing friends would say that's totally normal...but it was my first one, and I was scared.

I recovered, and we all had a good time. My dad rode H's toy car and had a bit of an accident. Funny parents.

Here's to surviving and thriving.

Day 15, Friday, November 14. - MEDS ARE HERE

I tracked meds most of the day. Ill post the pic.
Not much to update on today; just really excited to get the meds! They called and sent an email when they were delivered. Right at 4:07pm. My wonderful dad came and took them off the porch so that they were safe inside.  Matt and I had reservations at Pasta Italia that night for a late birthday celebration. Part of me just wanted to jump into the box of meds and make sure we had everything and were good to go. But Pasta Italia was so good, and as always, we had a great time, eating, drinking, laughing and being silly.

A great bottle of Chianti Classico Riserva

Antipasto plate

My pasta sampler: top L-R and down: Pumpkin ravioli, Rosettes, veggie cannelloni, beef cannelloni, and later they put tomato basic gnocchi in the middle. I liked in order, Rosettes, beef cannelloni, then veggie and gnocchi tied, then the pumpkin

Mmm, Matt's pasta carbanara

Matt and his pasta Carbarnara

I'm looking especially thrilled.

yay they added another treat in the middle of the plate

Mmm, best Tiramisu I've ever had

And Now. The moment we've all been waiting for....THE MED BOX IS HERE!!!!!!

WOOOHOOO

Instructions on storage

Little bit of what's in there

It looks like medicinal Christmas!

Matt asked if the baby came in the cooler box. I had to laugh. But told him it's not that easy. But that'd have been cool, too.

My super important shots collector

So, that's it for now; tomorrow is the big day where I inject myself, woohoo!!

Amanda and Matt

Day 14 - Day after Injection Training - the medical debacle

Well, the injection training wasn't too bad. But, starting with Wednesday, it was a fight to get our meds delivered on time so I could be sure and start Lupron on Saturday evening. I let Matt handle it Wednesday, and my nurse was working through some paper work as well. It was a cluster; stuff missing, stuff on the list that shouldn't have been, the wrong start dates, preauthorizations, validations, etc.
Well, Wednesday went by...no meds and no progress. They would need to be delivered to my doorstep; these are speciality pharmacies so you can't go pick them up from a local Walgreens or CVS. I was working with CVS Caremark. They were very nice, but this was such a frustrating experience.
Starting Thursday, I was on the phone (i counted) over 25 times with either Matt, the pharm tech with CVS, my nurse, or the walgreens tech that was the back up if we couldn't get our stuff straight. God works everything out because a normal day there is no way I could have easily stepped away from work, sometimes, 30 minutes at a time, to straighten out this deal. I was taking notes on whiteboards and having to take a picture of it so I didn't forget. It was a long day of phone and frustration. I was just waiting on them to finally call me back for payment information.

It was 6pm, after mine, my nurses, and Matt's calls, I got a call from Rachel (sweetest girl ever) who was ready to read me my scripts and take payment. Just in time because they close by 7:30...it was crazy fast; she went through everything, and I got a tracking order at 11pm from UPS that it was flying out of Chicago. Whoa! We had renewed hope that it would all work out in time. We were afraid we would have to start the next cycle.

I slept much better that night. Worked up, wound up, in knots, but I was so relieved that things were working ok.

Tough week going from shot overwhelming to being scared you won't get the opportunity to administer that overwhelming shot.

I said a big huge open heart prayer to God that it was in his timing and to please work with us and through us, and if at any point it is meant to be halted, just give us comfort and strength to move on.

Here we go; hoping for meds tomorrow!
Amanda