Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da: Day 96 - January 28, 2015 - 12dp5dt

I'll try and summarize an update by day:

9dp5dt - Sunday: This was the night before I was going to the Dr to have my blood drawn to check beta levels. This would confirm I was pregnant. I was so ready! My mom's birthday is tomorrow, so we were having a Sunday night birthday celebration. We decided to tell my family. They were expecting us to tell them yay or nay on Monday, but we wanted to surprise them.

How we told my family:

So, after my mom opened her gifts, I pulled out my computer and had the screen ready to open up to a full screen "Pregnant" result on a pregnancy test I took. I told her "We got you one more gift but this won't be delivered for a while." Everyone (but Matt because he was recording and David because he was getting food ready) gathered around to see what else we got her, and I pulled up the screen to the picture of the "pregnant" right in the middle of the screen on the pregnancy test. It took a moment and then it was a fun surprise and celebration! We are so blessed and thankful.

This night I managed to get nervous again that something may be wrong with my levels because I convinced myself my pee stick result was lighter. (i have to quit thinking)

10dp5dt - Monday. RESULTS CONFIRM PREGNANCY!!!

I didn't go to work this day because I knew i wouldn't be able to focus. I had an 8am lab work appointment, and the nurse was supposed to call me with results that afternoon (usually they call around 3pm). So, i had a GREAT day in Memphis with no rushing and no darkness. A real shopping day. I went to Whole Foods, Walgreens, a bookstore (old Davis Kidd), Target, Pottery Barn Outlet, and Fresh Market. It was AWESOME!

I even got my car washed.

I got home at 2pm. Matt had taken a half day. So, we sat around, thinking she'd call any moment. By 3:30 I was anxious. My family was starting to text and I called the office. They said it'd be in the next hour. Finally the nurse calls. My HCG (beta) levels were 446!! Whoa! That's super high. Way high for a FET and 4 weeks 1 day pregnant. They just want you to be around 100 or more, but this was great! They informed me that I'd come back in Wednesday to be sure levels were rising appropriately.

We texted friends and family who have been with us through this whole process to share our news:) It was such a WONDERFUL afternoon, and I'm so thankful for this time. Seriously wish I could slow time down and soak this in more. Four years of waiting for these moments and here they are. I'm overwhelmed with thankfulness.

Then, I researched all about levels. Mine needed to double by Wednesday and the next step would be an early ultrasound (because I had an ectopic) to be sure it implanted in the right place around 5-6 weeks.

11pt5dt - Went to work. Told my immediate coworkers who have been there since October, supporting my moodiness, my inability to travel, my absences and lateness due to appointments and procedures, and my constant venting. I told my boss, my boss's boss's boss, and the two girls who work for me. The guy who works for me has been spared, ha! Not because I didn't want to share with him, but he started working for me soon before the process began and I never did the "nice to have you on the team, I'm doing IVF, let's chat!"....i'm sure he's totally fine with not knowing:)

Work was busy as always, but it makes the day go by quickly. I came home and ate the whole house. I had a turkey burger, brussel sprouts, finished up the Ponchos cheese dip, and finished all the guacamole that my brother had made.

The only symptoms other than this occasional can't get enough food (out of nowhere) is complete tiredness. I am a late night person; usually force myself to go to bed by 11-midnight, but for the last week I have been falling asleep in the chair before 10:30. This night I was in the bed completely asleep by 10pm. WEIRRRD, but Yay!! And I'm getting great sleep and waking up not feeling groggy.

12dp5dt - My second beta (HCG) level check - 1079

I was so worried because I knew this was another hurdle for us. If the levels went down or didn't double enough, then we could be having a miscarriage or something. But, THANKFULLY, they were 1079. More than doubled. That's a 1.6 day double vs. 2 day double which is what they want. So, yay! Grow little embryo grow! Bring on the morning sickness and whatever else higher HCG can bring!

So, this is actually today. 12dp5dt - Wednesday. I'm 4 weeks 3 days pregnant. Work was busy again. Always. We made a lot of progress on something we needed to do. It's financial planning time! And the guy who works for me will be doing this for the first time, and it's his 'big project.' The core of his role, and it's not easy. So many different aspects to it. Nothing straight forward like "let's forecast sales and payroll." Nope to forecast payroll it's, "We need Year 1 payroll, Year 2 store payroll, same store payroll, meeting schedules, vendor funding, hub projects, hub rollouts, wage analysis, hours due to actual sales, hours due to incremental same store sales, other hours, POG labor, holiday impacts, add back tactics, GL adjustment all by week for the upcoming fiscal year" and on and on and on. AKA work some magic with your crystal ball please. It's a nightmare. But we sat down today and planned the plan. Made a strict timeline for the next 8-10 weeks, and bam we will be done. And we shall hopefully live to see another day at the beautiful place called AutoZone. And I hope he doesn't stroke out, or I don't stroke out, because it's not worth it. I told him "we can't miss these deadlines; we can only move items up on the timeline not push them back, no flexibility.....but it's not life or death, and you'll survive." Gee thanks for the encouragement, Hilter.

It does get stressful, and I hate to see the stress and panic on my direct reports' faces. But, everyone has to learn and adapt and he'll be fine. He's smart and capable. When I moved up to this role I spent the first 6 months (first month with an ectopic which was a great start) panicked and stressed. Would have dizzy spells, racing heart, just totally stressed out. A combo of ectopic stress, emotional stress, but lots and lots of job stress. It's a lot of pressure. And we have deadlines CONSTANTLY. And no one wants to hear an excuse for a missed deadline. We just don't miss. And that's all. You build processes (and people) that provide redundancy and error control, and you just don't miss. It's a scary expectation. Geeeeez, where's the tylenol! (and the extra bucks). ha.

I ranted.

Guess what:

I'M PREGNANT!!!!

Life is good.

My next appointment is Feb. 9th. That's 12 days away! We'll have an ultrasound to be sure the embryo is in my uterus and not an ectopic, and meeting with the doctor. I was like, "are you SURE you don't want me to come in again this week?" It feels weird to be on my own with no dr.'s appt in the next week. I'm like, "noooo, cheek me, check me! Make sure all is well!"

Enter faith.

Thank you, Lord, for getting us this far. It has truly been a miracle and blessing from You, and we are so very thankful and amazed that this has happened. Please continue to allow your will to be done. We pray that this pregnancy and baby is healthy.

So grateful.

Amanda

Pictures, and then a piece on a sad story to follow.

All of these pictures are before we told them; we were just having fun opening gifts and listening to H and AR sing happy birthday

There was a video of us showing the family, but blogger won't upload it :(

The below is us cheers-ing the news from the nurse that we were confirmed as PREGNANT!

And I've officially stopped taking these as of 12dp5dt, with levels of 1079. Whew! I can take a break from pee sticks. But boy did they make me feel good.

My eat-fest:

Now, I want to switch gears and dedicate a bit to PAPPY (our youngest cat), or "Pappy Bears"

Pappy Cox, July 2014-January 2015.

Our sweet Pappy was run over Sunday night. This was the night before my levels being checked. I was completely devastated. He had been inside like an hour before, and then out front playing with Eddy while Larry went and peed. (normal routine for these crazy animals). We were about to go to bed and Matt said, "Be sure you get Pappy inside, he's not coming when I call." I said I was going to bed now. Matt went up front ( i knew to check the street....we live on Main Street which is fairly busy). He said, "Amanda there's something in the road." I went up there trying to remain calm, and I just knew....he made me stay back and he ran to the street. I could see Pappy lying in the middle of the road not moving. I saw Matt pick him up and his poor lifeless body hung there; I wish I could forget. (and for anyone now annoyed at my dramatic-ness toward my animals, well you don't know me very well). My heart sunk. Matt walked up to the house and I was already in tears. I felt bad for him because he had to do all the dirty work. But he did it and I admire him for that because I know he was hurting, too.

I cried and cried. I just kept saying "I feel so bad for him." I wish I had taken better care of him and not let him ever get hurt. I found a pretty hat box that I used for keeping important stuff, and I emptied it out for Pappy's casket. I was so devastated. Really heart broken. Matt told me I had to get composure because it wasn't good for me. I knew that. I knew I shouldn't have an emotional breakdown while 4 weeks pregnant (but isn't that kinda common? ha).

Matt dug a deep hole, and we went out there together, now 1am, to lay him to rest. Matt said a prayer. We cried. And said goodbye to Pappy.

Pappy was only 6 months old. We hadn't had him but 22 weeks. He lived life to the fullest. He loved so strongly and annoyed us so strongly as well. He annoyed Larry and Eddy, but loved them more than they could ever imagine loving him. But he didn't care. He was happy and they and we made him happy. He was always in one of our laps. Wanted to sleep with us, follow us around. He was so soft. I called him parka sometimes, because you'd go to pick him up and it was like a deflating parka. So soft. Not the courser tabby cat fur, but cotton ball fur.

He was part Siamese. I now regret letting him go outside so much. He was a weaker cat. He couldn't jump on the counter without help from a stool, while Eddy (the tabby) does it with ease. He was just a weaker little guy. A huge fatty, but a more sensitive, a bit slower, and not as 'tough' yet always causing trouble. He managed to force us to sleep with our bedroom door shut from day 1 of getting him. There was no sleep if Pappy wanted to play. He was full of life, energy, and love. He managed to make me want to strangle him yet love him harder all in a minute. He was so loyal. During my bed rest after the transfer, he was with me 24/7. He sat in my lap the whole 2 days. I joked and told Matt he was helping me incubate the baby. And, maybe he helped make it work. He made sure my belly was warm because he was lying on it constantly.

He was a rescue cat. My coworker found him and several others in the litter at Wolf River, abandoned. I rest in the fact that he had a good life and was loved by us, and got the opportunity to have an animal and a human family. And you could TELL he was happy. Even while annoying us and us getting on to him, he was STILL happy. Just a thankful cat, and we could learn more from him. He was thankful to have us and thankful to have Larry and Eddy to play with and keep warm at night with. He was spoiled and happy. I really miss him. I miss his annoying traits as well; like knocking everything off the counter, attacking me out of nowhere, and his stinky breath. We really couldn't believe how stinky his breath always was. Funny story, while Matt was giving me a progesterone shot in the butt, Pappy jumped on his shoulder as he was kneeling down and had just inserted the syringe. So there is Matt with a cat on his shoulder and he holds his hands up to get him off, and there I am with a syringe stuck out of my butt. That was Pappy. Total spaz. But he loved us so much, and we loved him...and now i really wish he were here in my lap, or running around chasing Eddy, or batting at Larry's tail.

We will miss you forever, Pappy. Thank you for your love and for the opportunity to be your parents for a too short time. We miss you so badly. Love, Mom and Dad.

All the kids