Egg Retrieval: The day the dr goes in with a tiny hollow needle through your vaginal wall, aspirates your follicles and retrieves all of the eggs possible. This procedure is pretty quick, but requires sedation (i was put to sleep for about 30-45 minutes). Expected recovery is not bad unless you hyper stimulate. Reminder, hyper stimulation (OHSS) is when your poor swollen ovaries have had enough, and you basically leak fluid into your abdomen. It is triggered by the presence of HCG and can get very severe (rarely life threatening) if you are to get pregnant since pregnancy releases more HCG. If you aren't pregnant it passes in 7-10 days after your HCG shot. If you are, it can last up until 12 weeks, and in many cases cause complications or miscarriage. So...let's hope to avoid this nasty little illness. But, keep in mind, I meet most of the risk factors, and have been warned it is a possibility, but hopefully only a mild case.
Okay, so back to the day. I woke up, no shower, no make up, no deodorant (baby eggs don't like fragrances, so this is required, not just me being nasty).
We drive with me half dozing because I didn't sleep enough, and arrive for our 7:30 check in about 7:10. We get checked in, and Matt is called upstairs to do his biz (release the sperms!!!), and I'm left waiting to get prepped. I go back, Matt is still gone, and here begins the frightful/anxious Amanda time. My blood pressure (which is usually 110/70) was 145/70; i'm in a panicky form. My heart is racing. The nurse is asking all these questions, and I keep thinking, "i need to talk to the Dr so I can understand these OHSS risks, and understand what his 'thinking' is around this...is the goal to get all the eggs? is the goal to get the mature ones? what can I expect after surgery? is my risk too high to be able to transfer?' just racing thoughts that I should have given up to God. But I didn't at the time even though I tried. I needed Matt, too.
I move on to the next room to put my sexy backless gown, socks, and hair net thing on. I struggle to secure the tie in any way, so I'm just chillin' with my butt checks out. Whatevs.
I sit in this weird puffy chair that's all warm, and the nurse wraps my legs in warm blankets. She tells me she's going to get my IV started, and asks where my husband is. Well, he's in the waiting room still to give the dang sperm! (why didn't they coordinate this better). Then, she struggles with my veins...not her fault, they are stupid small and roll easily. She gives up on my hand veins, and goes for my WRIST vein. Be warned. This is painful. She tells me it will hurt, so she's giving me a shot of a numbing agent (but that hurt like crap, too!)...so now I'm getting weepy because why oh why are my veins small why can't this just work as normal and where is Matt or the Dr. Well, my wrist swells up some because it's pissed, but after a few attempts and moving it all around (ugh, gross and painful) the IV is in and she tapes it down. Thank you, Lord.
Small veins ain't easy
She goes to leave, asks if I've heard from Matt (i really don't want to interrupt the sperm giving), and then I start to cry. All I can muster up to say is, "i'm sorry, I'm sad," in the wimpiest smallest voice I've heard. (good choice of words, no shiz sherlock you're crying). Then, this all-business nurse turned softer and told me some story about her brother's wife who had IVF and was all emotional the whole time. It was a nice attempt to be compassionate, but I was just too sad to be consoled at this point.
She leaves me to relax (right, like I'm going to be able to), and I do make big attempts to calm the hell down. Deep breaths, praying, and trying to laugh. Carrie texts me, and that opened the door for me to share with her that i'm having a breakdown. She totally cheered me up by sending this ridiculous video we'd made of us booty dancing using the slo-mo feature on the iPhone. It's hilarious and entertaining for us. That made me feel so much better and remember other days (just months ago) when I didn't have the IVF weight on me and was shaking my tail with no pain in my ovaries. It was what I needed. A glimpse of the more carefree Amanda life. I can do this.
The dr came in and I began the questions. I was calm and not crying now. He was VERY helpful. He wasn't my normal Dr, actually the youngest in the group of 3, and I'd never met him, but he was very informative. He confirmed the risk of OHSS, but said there is nothing I can do about that today. The protocol i was on (with the HCG trigger) can't be reversed, and the best thing to do at this point is to go retrieve every egg he can. He said leaving eggs in there could actually make it worse. This was comforting because I was afraid that they'd get all these eggs and THAT would make it worse, but it was the opposite. He also recommended freezing the embryos (hoping and praying we have some). There are better success rates, lower miscarriage rates, lower premature rates, and higher live birth rates by freezing.
This is not to say that a fresh transfer is bad...this is to say that me being high risk OHSS plays a factor here because if I did hyperstim AFTER getting pregnant the complications could compound and hurt the baby and me. But, even without that, he said they have gotten so much better at the freezing process that giving my body (ovaries and hormones) a month to reset and get normal again (not to mention the emotional stress reduction) would be a better environment to implant the embryo. This all makes sense to me. But...let's not get ahead of ourselves. I do appreciate him covering all these questions before putting me under, though. It gave me the positive and hopeful outlook I needed after the last 3 days of stressing that this process was at risk of failing and/or I was in a health risk.
Again, fresh transfer works just as well, too! It depends much on your protocol and your clinic. With my clinic and my protocol he said freezing looked like a great option and higher success rate. Let me pause because I feel like I'm glooming and dooming...my success rate was estimated in the mid to upper 60%'s, so I am NOT complaining. It's just hard not to obsess over all speed bumps and possibilities. So, all in all, I'm in great shape, blessed, and thankful for my statistical success rate prediction. The average is somewhere between 40-50%, so I'm happy with where I am.
And honestly, this could all change based on my embryos. I may still do a fresh transfer (fresh is when they transfer the embryos 3-5 days after they retrieve and fertilize the eggs vs. freezing to transfer later). At this point it will be a daily assessment.
Anyway, I got sidetracked.
So, good talk with the dr. Then, the anesthesiologist comes in, talks to me, then two nurses come in and lead me to the operating room. I lie down, the nurse calls out that it's 8:47, then the other nurse says, "i'm going to administer a small amount of medication to help you relax" (and it does, I feel slightly drunk and disoriented)...and I remember asking, "am I about to go to sleep?" and that was it.
Next, I woke up in a recovery room to THE NICEST NURSE. And, no that wasn't just due to the anesthetics. She was so kind. She said I did well, and asked if she wanted me to go get Matt. Well, yeah! I hadn't seen him since 7:30, and last I did was text him I was going back. Matt comes back, I start crying, and am noticing all the pain i'm in. The nurse gives me some percocet, but 10 minutes later it still sucks, and I get more. Couldn't have been a lot because I was pretty coherent and not really sleepy. The tough part is you're instructed to take tylenol after departure. I take that as good sign, meaning they don't expect the pain to last very long!
Good morning!
Lookin' rough!
My attempt at a smile.
Matt told me they retrieved 12 eggs. YAY! That's a good number. Funny, because based on my follicles it looked like I had 30-35 total, and 17 mature, and I was worried that was a crazy thing, but 12 is pretty common. Although the dr assured me that egg count had no correlation to OHSS, it was nice to be 'average' on this. Now my hope and prayer is that the 12 eggs are all in great shape, fertilized, and leave us with some great looking blastocysts to transfer or freeze! Ideally, we'd have about 5-6 which would likely result in 1-3 kiddos (if all works out, and if it's God's will).
The odds are a bit against that number. Using the lower limit of the range on egg retrieval vs. fertilization rate vs. transferrable eggs and live births, we're looking more like we have a chance at 1 baby maybe two from this process. That's okay! 1 is a blessing, and would make my heart leap with joy.
So I recovered some, then we went home. Stopped at Newk's first. I'm walking like a grandma and can't sit up straight. I keep thinking i have to pee. I have a large amount of pressure on my rectum and vagina (oh hey, TMI again), but I am guessing that's from swelling and fluid. It sadly reminds me of my ectopic pain when I had blood in my abdomen, but that got WAY worse and progressed to complete sweating/high blood pressure/crying type pain. This is not that. This is just a mild, ouch to walk, ouch to pee, and ouch to stand up pain. I can handle this.
We also stopped by Walgreens to get my meds (antibiotic and steroid), and I picked up some more beef jerky, V8, and then what became my new security blanket...for freakin' $14.99! This thing made me so happy! I call it the grey bear.
So, i got home and ate broccoli and cheese soup and half a pimento cheese sandwich. It was like LOVE! I was so hungry. Then, i was going to try and Cyber Monday shop, but passed out for 3 hours.
I got up later, and have been making myself drink V8 juice, water, and snack on beef jerky. I also finished all Christmas shopping. Matt made me Campbell's tomato soup and a protein shake for dinner. All about the salt, protein and hydration. I'm going to fight this OHSS risk! I feel okay, but from reading other people's recovery, I think my bloating/pain especially is likely due to fluid. Prayers prayers and more prayers for it to be absorbed by my salt intake and flushed out. My gosh, with as many times as I've peed today (probably 1 every hour or so) I am hoping it's doing the trick.
Feeling better
My set up: computer, beef jerky, books, and magazines
Tomorrow, I should get a call from the nurse telling me what my fertilized egg count is. I am prepared that it could be 0-12. There is no way I can control this at ALL. I'm trusting God's will...much better than I was earlier today while waiting on the procedure. Although I will be devastated if none are fertilized, I will not lose hope. I can do this process again, and they will know much more as to why it didn't work, and they'll adjust my protocol accordingly. Yes, this is expensive. But...we currently have the means, and thankfully Matt has good insurance, and it's all worth it in the end. I'd rather spend money on this than anything I can think of right now. It could be the best Christmas gift we ever give each other; but at the end of the day, money doesn't buy this; God does this all. We could spend a fortune on it, and it never work. We could not have the funds to do this, and God supply a child some other way. We could never be parents, and learn to accept it. There are no guarantees. We only go after what we believe in our hearts to be right, and trust that everything works out.
Not that I won't cry my face off.
But, it will be okay. It always is.
So, rather than leave on that "ooooh, so many sad possibilities" let's talk about how I'm feeling well and my 12 eggs are mating with Matt's sperm. HA! Go get em sperm!!! You can do it!
It's okay to laugh, and it's okay to cry:) I've done my share of both in this process. That's life. The best part is I get to share it with Matt, and God has taken care of us and will continue to forever.
Thankful, Amanda
some ending notes...
Below was the last exchange from Matt and me...he had made it to his 'delivery room' and I was about to go into my operating room. HA!
He was trying to cheer me up and I appreciate that. From the look of my picture I was far from humor at the time....so serious, sad, and scared! I didn't mean to take that picture; it was that new feature on the iPhone where it sends the pic before you review it. But, it captured my feelings:) and my incredible hair net!
He was disappointed he didn't get the room with a lazy boy this time...
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